Maybe I'll do a real post later, for now feel free to chat amongst yourself in the comment section. I'll give you a topic: Why Christmas presents always suck balls.
They don't suck if your relatives know enough by now to give you cash up front. Saves a lot of trouble, I get what I want, and I never have to deal with the other suckers at the return counter.
Easy, Chrismas gifts suck because there's as good a chance that you'll get something knitted as anything else.
Legit, the most disappointing Hanukkah gift always brings the chance of something better the next night. Then again, we often give pretty cheap stuff to float the nights between good stuff when you're little.
The only thing christmas does better is food. Every year it's latkes and some kinda fucking salmon.
Since I'm at work, too...best gift you gave/got this year?
gifts given: diesel shirt + saturday night fever dvd (mom), starbucks card + utilitarian stuff (brother), guess cologne + kitchen apron (dad, who owns bbq restaurants), shirt and tie (roommate).
gifts received: gift cert for mccormick + schmicks seafood, guinness book (every year), entertainment coupon book (yearly, too), money, crazy foodie stuff from dad, shower radio/mirror, electric toothbrush, ticket for larry the cable guy concert, ted baker button down (gift to meself)
anyone else who spends time putting consideration to their gifts driven batshit insane by those who receive said gifts and don't give a fuck in the opposite direction? my brother and I are very similar on some things, often mind-numbingly disparate in these.
I got my sister some iTunes gift cards, and in order to actually give her something to unwrap, I got her the Clue DVD board game. This is the most piece of shit gift I have ever given anyone. They have completely destroyed the original game of Clue.
First, they've changed the crime from a grisly murder to a petty theft... I guess Hasbro got sick and tired of getting blamed for all those murders over the years.
Second, they've added new characters. Plus some of them are African-American, which makes solving the crime much easier.
My best friend gave me Terry Bradshaw's first album. I was stunned that the modifier "first" needed to be applied, but apparently he made two Christian albums back in the 70's.
Needless to say, I've already framed it and mounted it on the wall next to the nearly life-size picture of "The Tackle" from last year's Steelers-Colts game.
Let's see ... I fell down the stairs last Tuesday, messed up my shoulder, got Vicodin, went to my in-laws, was provided with beer so I could make Brett Favre Specials (a/k/a Mississippi Martinis), and spent Xmas weekend comfortably numb and free from having to interact with anyone. Oh--and I got many gift cards and a Hines Ward jersey. And the Jets won last night. And my shoulder is better so I still have Vicodin left. Life is good.
They don't suck if your relatives know enough by now to give you cash up front. Saves a lot of trouble, I get what I want, and I never have to deal with the other suckers at the return counter.
ReplyDeleteI got a ceramic bowl...I'm still a bit confused.
ReplyDeleteUM-
ReplyDeleteDid you get the Remco Ball Sucker 3000?
Barbaro-
His owners will make some bucks when they ship him off to Alpo.
what?
ReplyDelete* waits patiently for picture of Michigan Becky's thong-adorned Xmas tree *
ReplyDeleteEasy, Chrismas gifts suck because there's as good a chance that you'll get something knitted as anything else.
ReplyDeleteLegit, the most disappointing Hanukkah gift always brings the chance of something better the next night. Then again, we often give pretty cheap stuff to float the nights between good stuff when you're little.
The only thing christmas does better is food. Every year it's latkes and some kinda fucking salmon.
Since I'm at work, too...best gift you gave/got this year?
I'm still waiting for someone to suck my balls for christmas. And hopefully not a relative.
ReplyDeleteI got the Frank Sinatra Live In Las Vegas box set.
ReplyDeleteSanta gave me a dutch oven. For real.
ReplyDeleteI got jewelry. I gave degenerate sex. Which is almost as good as jewelry.
ReplyDeletegifts given:
ReplyDeletediesel shirt + saturday night fever dvd (mom), starbucks card + utilitarian stuff (brother), guess cologne + kitchen apron (dad, who owns bbq restaurants), shirt and tie (roommate).
gifts received:
gift cert for mccormick + schmicks seafood, guinness book (every year), entertainment coupon book (yearly, too), money, crazy foodie stuff from dad, shower radio/mirror, electric toothbrush, ticket for larry the cable guy concert, ted baker button down (gift to meself)
anyone else who spends time putting consideration to their gifts driven batshit insane by those who receive said gifts and don't give a fuck in the opposite direction? my brother and I are very similar on some things, often mind-numbingly disparate in these.
at least I'm not a Giants fan.
ReplyDeleteoh wait...
Becky- we're gonna fuck up your shit on saturday
ReplyDeleteI got my sister some iTunes gift cards, and in order to actually give her something to unwrap, I got her the Clue DVD board game. This is the most piece of shit gift I have ever given anyone. They have completely destroyed the original game of Clue.
ReplyDeleteFirst, they've changed the crime from a grisly murder to a petty theft... I guess Hasbro got sick and tired of getting blamed for all those murders over the years.
Second, they've added new characters. Plus some of them are African-American, which makes solving the crime much easier.
My best friend gave me Terry Bradshaw's first album. I was stunned that the modifier "first" needed to be applied, but apparently he made two Christian albums back in the 70's.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, I've already framed it and mounted it on the wall next to the nearly life-size picture of "The Tackle" from last year's Steelers-Colts game.
Let's see ... I fell down the stairs last Tuesday, messed up my shoulder, got Vicodin, went to my in-laws, was provided with beer so I could make Brett Favre Specials (a/k/a Mississippi Martinis), and spent Xmas weekend comfortably numb and free from having to interact with anyone. Oh--and I got many gift cards and a Hines Ward jersey. And the Jets won last night. And my shoulder is better so I still have Vicodin left. Life is good.
ReplyDeletewhat's wrong with a ceramic bowl? they don't get too hot in your hand and don't break as easily as glass.
ReplyDeleteyeah, this kind of bowl holds my keys.
ReplyDeletelaser- send that shit this way. we'll be much more entertaining.
Is it me or does the horse bear a haunting resemblance to Eli?
ReplyDeleteI got two cash cards, a microwave (still furnishing an apartment) and a couple of dress shirts and jeans (useful).
ReplyDeleteI gave coffee to several co-workers, a computer stereo system to mom, dad got jazz records, and my aunt got jewelry.
This is a great blog, guys. Great work.
ReplyDelete