I had wanted to do a gamebook on the inaugural NFL Network regular season game last night, but, like many of you out there, I don't get the channel. I did, in fact, until roughly three days before the first game of the season, when I moved into my new place. Now I am sans premium channel football goodness. Woe is me to the third degree.
What I missed, besides a Gumbel-induced migraine, was a fine curb-stomping by the suddenly ascendant Chiefs administered to the quickly fading Denver Broncos. I remember catching heat a few weeks ago for stating that the Broncos defense was nowhere nearly as good as the Bears'. Well, I got some Thanksgiving leftovers for you in a few hours. I'll leave it in Drew's Tupperware container for you.
Anyway, on this post-Thanksgiving Day we wish to honor the Chiefs' victory and the noble Native Americans, who received forks up their asses from the white man
![](http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/6644/3521/400/680793/kccl2.jpg)
Enjoy your weekend.
I'm a Chiefs fan, and even I don't find those cheerleaders attractive.
ReplyDeleteI just checked their site to find an attractive one, but no dice. Half the cheerleaders look like Stiffler's mom, and the other half look like they should be giving out hummers behind the Tilt-a-Whirl at a county fair.
At least I'll always have Larry Johnson's dreamy eyes to look at.
Yesterday during the crappy Lions and Cowboys games, NFLN played several hours of the NFL Cheerleader Playoffs.
ReplyDeleteChad Johnson was one of the judges. He had this to say after a dance number:
"I like the kicks and the flips, and that thing where it looked like you were fightin' each other back & forth? i liked that too."
Thank God for you, Ape. You feel the collective pain of time-chugging fuckfaces all over this blessed land that were forced to come into work today.
ReplyDeleteGuys! Just drink until they look better, but don't forget that you might be required to chew your arm off in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI'm not entirely sure I could drink enough to allow me to get with any of them.
ReplyDeleteIs this the best that Kansas City has to offer?
Fuck the bullshit 99 percent of us know we would have no chance with those girls. Im jackin.
ReplyDeleteAwful Chief: Did you see the cheerleader tug-o-war? It was completely mesmerizing.
ReplyDeleteI guess conquest has its drawbacks.
ReplyDeleteForget Bernhard -- the second from left looks like Courtney Love. Ick. Grilled cheese on her right wins by default.
Hence why Detroit trots out Junior High band members.
ReplyDeleteJeebus.
Atlanta couldn't find a better pair than a midget black chick and a punched in the face gangly white chick? I refuse to believe that. Andruw Jones wouldn't have a threesome with those two chicks.
ReplyDeleteI don't want to hear about your regular jobs. I want to hear about you struggling through some community college, desparately needing my $1 bills.
Guys! Just drink until they look better, but don't forget that you might be required to chew your arm off in the morning.
ReplyDeleteAhh, The Coyote. A classic.
And how dare you NFLN-receiving asshats rub in our collective face that not only did you get to watch the only compelling Thanksgiving day game (BC-UM excluded), but you also got something called the cheerleader playoffs. Fock.
Two consecutive posts where the damn dirty ape was funny. And two consecutive posts in which the damn dirty ape did not mention a certain team based at the confluence of three of the East Coast's premier rivers.
ReplyDeleteNo, I'm not spotting a trend, there. But keep up the trendlessness, Ape.