He's got no back, but he's still frontin'...

Former Giants cornerback Will Peterson, who hasn't played in more than a year due to his FUBAR back, signed a one-year veteran's minimum contract with the Iggles yesterday. The hard-luck Peterson also announced he was changing his name to "Will James." Thanks to Albert "Joey" Belle, I can't help but feel a little cynical when athletes change their names in order to turn over a new leaf. And if you were going to pick out a new name, why would you go with something as pedestrian as 'Will James'? Max Power sounds waaaaaay cooler.

In the era of free agency and the salary cap, it's all that my booze-addled mind can do to remember one name for these guys. There should be a law limiting name changes to (in descending order of their contributions to society) porn stars, pro wrestlers, rappers and sports bloggers.

My petty bitchiness notwithstanding, the buzz is that Will James nee Peterson struggled mightily with selecting a new moniker. Thanks to our top-notch research staff, we were able to find a partial list of names that the newly-christened Mr. James rejected.

Scott Peterson

Suri Peterson

Will Houshmandzadeh

Will Boutros-Boutros Ghali

Will Leitch




Will Heactuallymakeaninterceptionthisseason

Bison Dele

The Black Mark Foley

Apron Boobsface

Karl Hungus

Lucious Left-Foot

Chump Bailey

As always, I welcome more pathetic attempts at comedy in the comments.