Tuesday, October 31, 2006
The KSK NFL Halloween Costume Bukkake
You're stuck in your office right now, and chances are the only person who dressed up for Halloween is that one fat broad in accounting. She probably also brought in candy, ostensibly for the office, but really so she can gorge herself.
A quick note on Halloween candy. The following candy is acceptable at Halloween: Reese's, M&M's, Snickers, Kit Kat and Twix. Give out anything else and you deserve to have your house egged and shit on. Three Musketeers and Milky Way are just subpar versions of Snickers. Hershey's Miniatures suck because you have to dig for Krackels and Special Darks. Mounds, Almond Joy and Nestle Crunch are all right. But really, those first five candy bars are what everyone really wants. So get you ass to CVS a week early next year if you don't have these. Don't fuck around.
Anyway, time to play a little game. Since Deadspin has been infected with "the gay" today, it's now our job to give you a little commenting fun. It's the KSK NFL Halloween Costume Bukkake! Just think of a good costume for the NFL personality of your choice and list it below. Some suggestions:
Mike Nolan: The Fuhrer
Shawne Merriman: Sammy Sosa
Troy Polamalu: Rae Dawn Chong
Donovan McNabb: Stan Marsh
Nick Harper: Steve Irwin
Will Leitch: poorly dressed Ferris Bueller
Alex Balk: Jeff Garcia
Daunte Culpepper: An actual football player
Peyton Manning: Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs
Terrell Owens: A heterosexual
Drew Rosenhaus: Fagin
Suzy Kolber: A man
Grady Jackson: Gilbert Brown
Gregg Easterbrook: Mel Gibson
Bill Simmons: Bish
Leonard Little: Ted Kennedy
You get the idea. Best ideas will be included in the update. Enjoy!
Unsilent Majority: Larry David
ReplyDeleteBill Cowher: Jay Leno
ReplyDeleteMark Brunell: Halloween is sacrilegious. No costume.
ReplyDeleteberman:grimace
ReplyDeleteMichael Irvin: Mushmouth
ReplyDeleteJoselio Hanson: A gasoline pump
ReplyDeleteMadden: Jabba the Hut
ReplyDeletesuss- that's amazing, but i have the hair of a god
ReplyDeletePlacido Polanco: A bag of potatoes
ReplyDeleteUnsilent, so you're not a
ReplyDeleteBALD ASSHOLE
Denny Green: A football coach
ReplyDeleteGawker: Turdfurter
ReplyDeleteChad Johnson : Grace Jones
ReplyDeleteWarren Moon: Norman Smiley
ReplyDeleteMario Williams: Reggie Bush
ReplyDeleteMatt Leinart: A Condom
ReplyDeleteChris Simms plus guys whose initials are tattooed on his leg: Charlie's Angels
ReplyDeleteBig Jim, that's pronounced "es-my-LAY"
ReplyDeleteFred Smoot: Darth Maul
ReplyDeleteMike Shanahan: Templeton from Charlotte's Web.
ReplyDeleteThe Barber Twins: The Smothers Brothers
ReplyDeleteJoe Buck: Dean Wormer
Art Shell: The Blob
ReplyDeleteTerrence Kiel: DJ Screw.
ReplyDeleteRandy Moss: Animal (continuing any muppet theme)
Clinton Portis: himself.
Donovan McNabb: T.O.
Edgerrin James: An NFL running back.
Since when is Charlotte's Web gay? Zuckerman's famous pig and all that shit? Gay? It's not like we posted a pic of Bob the Builder fucking one of the Teletubbies.
ReplyDeleteShit. Tough room.
Bill Belicheck-A bong
ReplyDeleteChad Johnson: Ruby Rhod
ReplyDeleteI didn't quote it, but point taken.
ReplyDeleteDennis Green: a crown
ReplyDeleteTO: a giant penis
Matt Leinart: a condom
Tom Brady: Matt Damon
Brian Urlacher: a herpes breakout
Buzzsaw: The Bengals four years ago
ReplyDeleteDennis Green and his neck fat: Quatto from Total Recall
Amare Stoudamire: Chris Webber or Penny Hardaway
Barbaro: Elmer's Glue
Randy Moss - Geronimo
ReplyDeleteJoe Buck: a dildo that shoots life-like jizz
ReplyDeleteTim McCarver: towel/umbrella
Brian Urlacher: Michael Flatley, Lord of the Dance
ReplyDeleteI have no costume ideas to contribute, but I just picked up three bixes of BooBerry from the grocery store. I love Halloween.
ReplyDeleteahem, boxes...'tis BooBerry on the brain, y'see
ReplyDeleteCharles Rogers: Michael Westbrook
ReplyDeleteShawne Merriman: Lyle Alzado
Hines Ward: Kim Jong Il
Peyton Manning: Alex Balk
Matt Millen : a flaming pile of shit (not a costume idea, more of an observation)
David Carr = Ryan Leaf
ReplyDeleteMicheal Irvin = Pookie from New Jack City
Joe Theisman = Gaping Flesh Wound
Mike Tirico = Band aid that wont cover the flesh wound.
Culpepper = Invisible Man
Shawn Alexander = A guy that ruins my fantasy football season
'06 Bears = '85 Bears