Saturday, September 30, 2006

The Terrell Owens Drinking Game: It Was Only a Matter of Time

The doctors told me I have an "addictive personality with obsessive-compulsive tendencies." Apparently the brain mechanism that allows other people to enjoy vices in moderation is broken in my noggin. So as enthusiastic as I am about gambling, I don't let myself bet on sports online. It's also why I can't play fantasy football or go to Las Vegas without supervision or let women sleep in my apartment overnight.

Say what you will about Lauren -- I'm getting too old to get turned on by edgy dye jobs, and the mere mention of "Terrell Owens" gives me a vague nausea -- but if such a thing as the perfect storm of legal-yet-addictive vice exists, it would have to be a tattooed, bisexual chick from a sports gambling website telling me how to play a drinking game while I watch football.

Well, friends, such a thing exists.

If anyone needs me I'll be in the gutter.
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8 comments:

  1. Angelos7:07 PM, September 30, 2006

    Rachel Ray went punk?

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  2. HockeyKnight8:48 PM, September 30, 2006

    wow. she seems awesome.

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  3. PUNTE12:46 AM, October 01, 2006

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  4. PUNTE1:12 AM, October 01, 2006

    I'm 99% positive there was no wine in that cup.

    In other words, she didn't swallow.

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  5. Otto Man10:56 AM, October 01, 2006

    I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

    Drinking is not a game. It's a skill.

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  6. Rob I11:10 AM, October 01, 2006

    If you started this drinking game at the top of Sunday NFL Countdown, you'd be legally dead right now.

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  7. Unsilent Majority12:08 PM, October 01, 2006

    The only drinking game I enjoy is "Drinky Beery". seriously, when i want a drink i have one, then to celebrate i have another. You'll be able to gauge my success when i get back from the redskins game to write a drunken post.

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  8. flubby12:30 PM, October 01, 2006

    I think "Lauren" is the product of a marketing campaign. Admittedly she is much hotter than Mr. Peanut. Not as hot as Aunt Jemima though.


    /I had to type "hjkyavzk" to post this. That's total bullshit.

    ReplyDelete