We are going to forego the obvious 
Update: According to police, after a high-speed chase, they were forced to mace the Pride of the Buckeyes when Clarett's bullet-proof vest protected him from their tasers. Apparently, the only thing that stops Clarett is mace and NFL-Europe reserve caliber linebackers.
mo really knows how to brighten up my morning commute.
ReplyDeletekevlar is such a hot fabric this season.
Was he "getting his Goose on?"
ReplyDeletefurther proof that shanny is incompetent
ReplyDelete3rd round pick. Wow.
ReplyDeleteThis must be difficult for Mike Cooper to handle, unlike ...
ReplyDeleteNever mind.
He was on his way to meet Marcus Vick as McDonalds.
ReplyDeleteSomeone must've told him that to make it in the AFL, he had to learn the shotgun...
ReplyDeleteI have $5 that says Shanny names him the starting RB for Week 1.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you saw it on Deadspin already, BUT, he also had a hatchet in the car.
ReplyDeleteA HATCHET!
Very Unlce Buck of him.
it was actually a copy of the novel Hatchet
ReplyDeletehe also enjoys The Other Side of the Mountain
You all wish Shanny was coaching your team instead of a geriatric old buzzard and his antiquated counter-trey
ReplyDeleteAh-ah, correction: Rich geriatric old buzzard. And the super staff is awesome. If I follow your metaphor through, the buzzard will be eating the corpses of the dead NFL opponents that his team has slaughtered. Because they, the team, are predators and he, the Gibbs buzzard, is there to clean up the meat from the carcasses. And that meat shall be in all of them and make them protein rich with stinky farts so they can go week in, week out, turning the fields of football stadia across this great land into the plains of Africa where the team, predators remember, will kill their opponents and eat the bulk of their flesh, figuratively of course, and the coach, Gibbs buzzard, will pick apart what's left.
ReplyDeleteOh, and the counter-trey is a little antiquated, but now we have Colonel Al Saunders to crack his hunting rifle over the heads of so many dead beasts, metaphorically speaking.
Also: Champ Bailey is gay for Jake's snake and Ron Dayne is hungy. Feed the baby. Have fun with Ashleigh.
My head hurts from reading that.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your 8-8 season...again.
You don't know your history well enough, current trends dictate that we must go 10-6, or 6-10, or worse than 6-10.
ReplyDeletePlease enjoy never winning a superbowl again.
Oh, or go 0-0-16, wouldn't that be something? I think that would be more difficult than going 16-0. Wonder abound in this National Football League.
ReplyDeleteYeah...I guess I was thinking of the early aughts Skins (8-8, 7-9, 8-8). I figured I'd split the difference.
ReplyDeleteA team going 0-0-16 would be the greatest thing ever. Would they make the playoffs?
the counter trey is so antiquated that about a dozen other coaches put it in their playbook...beats cut blocking
ReplyDeleteMike Wilbon's column in today's Washington Post is accompanied by a photograph of the interior of Clarett's car.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the guns, hatchet (not shown) and Grey Goose, he had a CD of children's songs recorded by Ohio prison inmates (insert Bengals joke here) and a lint filter.
A lint filter.
Just when I thought the Maurice Clarett comedic well had run dry, they pull me back in.
Nothing beats cut blocking. The donks have had the best running game in the league over the last decade. You cant argue w/ results.
ReplyDelete