If you happen to speak English, you may realize that Peter King is the best NFL writer in the United States, and therefore, the world. In fact, his NFL prowess is so renowned that it has earned him an analyst's spot on the NFL Sunday Night Football studio team, premiering this fall. He is an Afroed god among mere mortal, straight-haired sportswriters.
So how does this elite journalist get into condition for the season? Certainly the work of covering 32 teams requires a strong preseason regimen. We like to know these things, so we here at KSK obtained a page of Peter King’s Outlook Calendar for an upcoming day, as many teams will already be in camp. While he sits on top of the mountain for now, to us it seems clear: Peter King is not ready for some football.
Don’t worry, Pete. That’s why they call it the preseason. Just keep your chin…up.
I thought 9:00 p.m. was when he watched a television show for the first time that everyone else has watched for last two years.
ReplyDeletep.s. Stay outta my city you Jersey fuck.
ReplyDeletehofc, you are correct sir.
ReplyDeletefuck peter king...and dr. z
wait a second, where's the time dedicated to finding the next Jake Plummer/Danny Wuerffel to advocate selecting in round 3 of your league's upcoming fantasy draft?
ReplyDeleteGood call on the Shiner Boch, good times right there.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to put in the three hour block of time where he spanks it to tivo'd episodes of House MD.
ReplyDeleteThen another hour thinking of which Sopranos spoilers to put in his column.
Fuck Dr. Z. Where is his calander with his daily foot in the ass from Dan Snyder? Nothing like getting punked right in front of your columnist buddies. Reminds me of the revenge skit from Chappelle Show.
ReplyDelete"chin...up" -- I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
ReplyDeleteThe bias of the Redskins by SI writers is ridiculous. The Dr Z quote "You don't make the HOF by catching 8 yard hooks" is disgusting. You do when it's 3rd and five.
ReplyDeletehe retired with the most catches ever, that's all that needs to be said.
ReplyDeleteMost catches in the history of the game, and not in the HOF. Why, oh why, did you have to bet on baseball Art Monk. We believed in you.
ReplyDeletePeter King is a penis kabob.
ReplyDelete> Certainly the work of covering 31 professional football teams (and the Texans) requires a strong preseason regimen.
ReplyDeleteThere, I fixed it for you.
goto11: Excellent work.
ReplyDeleteI've left a copy of that KSK memo on MMP's desk.
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ReplyDeleteAnd I love you, Lou Gosset Jr.
ReplyDeleteArt Monk has a higher career YPC than Marvin Harrison.
ReplyDeleteIt needs to be said.
All I wanna know is...WTF does this have to do with burritos? ;)
ReplyDeletelittle known fact: peter king survives on a diet consisting entirely of bean and cheese frozen burritos
ReplyDelete...so there's that
This is obviously a fake, as there is no mention of Brett Favre and King couldn't go a day without his BFF.
ReplyDeleteI keep trying to click Louis Gossett Jr so I can see if we're still on for dinner (at that revolving restaurant) and a showing of "Little Man."
ReplyDelete"How to annoy readers about Katrina while taking black manseed on my face"?
ReplyDeleteBoth completely shocking, and completely hillarious. Well done, MMP. Keep it up.