Thursday, January 10, 2008

Please God, Send These Children To Darfur


As a father, I'm normally against the idea of slaughtering children. But I dare you to watch 20 seconds of this clip without resisting the urge to grab a machete and start playing "got your nose" for real. I bet these kids never even learn to read a fucking traffic light.

Not pictured: Peter King behind a music stand waving a conductor's stick.

61 comments:

  1. It's things like these that make me understand why people hate our country.

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  2. Young Jessica Simpson in the front row.

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  3. I'll see your vaguely nauseating Packers children and raise you this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FWeVkXX77Ac

    Needless to say, this is exactly what my (future) children will be like.

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  4. The girl in the pink jersey will be pregnant by age 15. Her babydaddy will be the douchey kid in the back row with the visor.

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  5. Children of the Cheese ?

    I blame the parents and teachers, arrest them all for child abuse.

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  6. i want to kill myself... that great american education system...

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  7. that's it. where's the whiskey?

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  8. Holy shit, 20 seconds was right on the mark. I killed it at 26. Home schooling sounds like a good option now. Worst part is, there is someone just as smarmy as PK thinking this is the wittiest thing they've ever produced.

    Think about the children...

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  9. I'm just shocked there's even one non-Favre jersey in the crowd. I thought it was some sort of Wisconsin statute that mandated that the Gunslinger's was the only permissible Packer jersey worn in public.

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  10. is it any wonder why people from chicago fucking hate wisconson.

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  11. I think my soul just aborted itself.

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  12. I'll bet this is what the CIA used on the detainees at GITMO to make them talk.

    Dear God, please make it stop [raking ears with bloody fingernails]

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  13. Home schooling sounds like a good option now.

    Yeah, home-schooled kids always turn out so well-adjusted and normal.

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  14. made it to :23.

    breaking out the ether.

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  15. 39 seconds, beat that.

    Tax dollars were spent on this. Since it's Green Bay, wouldn't a song about Favre in a public school be considered school prayer?

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  16. i actually lasted longer watching 2girls1cup.

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  17. pk could get in a lot of trouble if he doesn't put that conductor's stick back in its holster

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  18. i call dibs on the little asian one.

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  19. I made it to :23. I actually don't mind the ravaging of a beloved holiday song, I just hate kids singing. No, I really do.

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  20. Not pictured: Peter King behind a music stand waving a conductor's stick.

    I bet that's not all he's waving...

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  21. King was too busy giving Favre 1/2 a vote for the all-pro team. I wish I was making that up.

    Whoever wanted me to hate Favre and Jesus, mission fucking accomplished. Killing Wisconsinites--I think Jeffrey Dahmer was on to something.

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  22. look at the mullet on the kid around :40

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  23. 48 seconds.

    I'd rather listen to nails on a chalkboard before that again.

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  24. im just surprised more of them arent obese

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  25. nice catch jay, it makes sense that the kid with the mullet is wearing a jersey that looks like it is from Favre's first year with GB.

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  26. Dammit, I knew that condom broke. Who knew turtlenecks and jerseys were genetic?! Good thing we never got each other's name and that it was at a Madison "layover" party where I knew nobody. And that Favre jersey confirms it. Cedarburg girls always say they're from Whitefish Bay.

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  27. This takes shittiness to a whole new level. I'm speechless.....

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  28. This is why animals in the wild kill their young.

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  29. I think Rivers might need to pay this happy little classroom a visit, no?



    What does Hannibal Lecter call a little Packers fan?

    A quarter pounder with cheese!!!



    I hate me.

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  30. Still less creepy than the kids from "Jesus Camp."

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  31. As a mother, I am fully in favor of the idea of slaughtering children. You won't share the Wii? You die. You said my daughter she couldn't be in your club? You die. Oh, my kids will forget in five minutes, but rest assured little Emily, I will not.

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  32. At least those kids aren't redskins fans.

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  33. I grew up in Northeast Wisconsin. This is no joke. We love our stupid Packers shit, thats for sure. They cancelled school after the Packers won the Super Bowl.

    Don't ask what they do with the kid who so happens to like the Bears. He's tied up in the back and is forced to eat alpo.

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  34. I only made it to :28 before an embolism struck.
    As usual, Brother Mouzone owns me.

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  35. being from chicago, all i can think is haha, you guys lost to a neckbeard with a one play strategy.

    the best one has to be the mexican kid in the generic green shirt on the far right side, with no packers logo on it. way to support your team, guy!

    i'm gonna call bullshit on these kids, as there's far too many girls caring about football in that bunch. that, or wisconsin has some damned effeminate guys.

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  36. In France, Hannibal calls them a Royale with cheese.

    Darfur is way too good for them. I say send them to that bad Travolta scientology scifi movie.

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  37. @futuremrs: Love how you've got Marmalard and Hannibal Lecter references in the same comment. I wish the two of them could meet.

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  38. Made it all the way through. Eardrums ruptured and eyes exploded 2 seconds after the end.

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  39. that is the most annoying thing I've heard in a looong time. THANKS

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  40. I live near GB, and yet, this is the greatest thing I've ever seen. I hate packer fans soooooooo much.

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  41. I see your wisconsin kids singing and raise you florida's primary export:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQ5eZSa7URA

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  42. 35 seconds.

    And I finished 2girls1cup on the first viewing.

    This is worse than 2g1c.

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  43. Please Mike Holmgren don't fuck this up. Go back to Green Bay and wipe your ass with Farve's face stubble.

    /can't believe I'm rooting for the Seahacks.

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  44. look at the mullet on the kid around :40

    That wasn't a mullet. That kid looked like Butters when they passed him off as a wounded dog.

    But wow, did it make it worth breaking through that wall at :20 and catching a second wind. And thanks to a training regimen of sweet, sweet Knob Creek, I made it all the way to :53.

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  45. I actually watched that.

    Fuck you.

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  46. As a Twin Ports resident, I see so much green and piss-yellow....and then to get exposed to this group of living abortions. Must be something in the cheese that makes these little fudgepackers susceptible to brainwashing.

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  47. Not pictured: Peter King behind a music stand waving a conductor's stick.

    That's what they're calling it now?

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  48. I FUCKING SWEAR: if I was in the class, I would beat the shit out of myself with a bat and claim that the teacher did that to me for being a Bears fan just so that the hillbilly got fired.

    Yes, it would be worth the hospital bills and suffering.

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  49. Madden just signed up for the wank-a-thon...

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  50. Best. Birth Control. Ever. Thanks!

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  51. I'd like to borrow Sean Taylor's machete and get to work on that whole classroom.

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  52. The machete's a good call, but I'm gonna have to go with the Tank Johnson arsenal for $500 Alex

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  53. Oh god what the fuck.

    I'm a Packers fan but this made me ill.

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  54. I don't care how "nauseating" this video may be to everyone, but to make comments as untasteful as "As a father, I'm normally against the idea of slaughtering children. But I dare you to watch 20 seconds of this clip without resisting the urge to grab a machete and start playing 'got your nose' for real" and "send these kids to darfur" is absolutely sickening.

    Let's keep things in perspective. It doesn't matter if you're saying comments purely as a joke. Darfur is not a joke, and to even put such a topic into a discussion on children singing about the Packers is embarrassing.

    Another commented that "It's things like these that make me understand why people hate our country"...I think we should apply this to the comments below the video rather than the video itself. How ignorant.

    Please everyone, grow the hell up.

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  55. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  56. elli:

    How ignorant of you that people want to read your preaching. I'm glad you got your rant out, did it make you feel better bitching about Darfur, rather than taking those feelings and trying to help out in a productive manner?

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  57. Elli would prefer we send them to the Gaza Strip.

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  58. If Darfur is too overboard, we could just make them watch six hours of fucking NASCAR!

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  59. Home of the web's finest dick jokes.

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  60. Anybody ever heard of music class? Pretty sure we were forced to learn and sing lamer songs than this one. At least it's creative. So as for wasting valuable class time - get a clue. Creativity is key to learning.

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