Tuesday, January 22, 2008

KSK Celebrity Pickkake: Stephen Hawking

This asshole does nothing but pick winners.

The celebrity Super Bowl pick is a time-honored tradition, one we at KSK are super fucking excited to be a part of, as we have in the past. For the next two weeks, stars from the world of entertainment, politics, and more will drop by to make their picks for the big game in the Pink Taco! Up next, it's noted physicist Stephen Hawking!

HELLO.

HOW

ARE

YOU?

TODAY.

I AM FINE.

MY

FAVORITE

TIME

OF THE YEAR

IS

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY.

MY

FAVORITE THING

ABOUT

FOOTBALL

IS

WATCHING

THE PASSES

AND

THINKING

ABOUT

SUCKING TOM BRADY'S COCK.

IF

I

WAS

SUCKING TOM BRADY'S COCK.

I WOULD LIKE TO

CHEW IN A CIRCULAR MOTION.

OR

I WOULD LIKE TO

LAY

NAKED

IN THE STREET

AND.

GET.

GANG-BANGED LIKE A HOOKER WHO OVERDOSED ON HEROIN.

IN.

MY ASS.

AND FACE.

I WOULD LIKE TO

PICK

THE GIANTS

TO WIN

BY

TWO

TOUCHDOWNS

THIRTY.

FIVE.

TO.

TWENTY.

ONE.

IF

[John Madden's voice] Brett Favre

WAS

IN.

THIS GAME.

I WOULD LIKE TO.

STILL.

BE.

SUCKING TOM BRADY'S COCK.

THANK YOU.

GOOD BYE.

]

37 comments:

  1. Big Daddy Drew1:54 PM, January 22, 2008

    Fitter, happier, more productive,
    comfortable,
    not drinking too much,
    regular exercise at the gym

    ReplyDelete
  2. the great bambi1:55 PM, January 22, 2008

    are those all things you're avoiding?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Big Daddy Drew1:58 PM, January 22, 2008

    That too, yes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Phony Gwynn1:58 PM, January 22, 2008

    Well, Hawking does look like a cat tied to a stick, driven into frozen winter shit.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Captain Caveman1:59 PM, January 22, 2008

    @the great bambi --

    I recommend less KSK commenting and more Radiohead albums

    ReplyDelete
  6. Number 22:09 PM, January 22, 2008

    Tasteless. You should be ashamed. Hawking is clearly a vagina man.

    http://flaminghomers.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  7. Charlie Green2:10 PM, January 22, 2008

    BDD translated:

    Harder, better, faster, stronger. Th-tha-tha-that that don't kill me, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  8. futuremrsrickankiel2:15 PM, January 22, 2008

    The ability to laugh at weakness = KSK

    ReplyDelete
  9. Chris Mueller2:16 PM, January 22, 2008

    @ CC and BDD:

    Richard Cheese's version is far more entertaining, at least for me.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous2:17 PM, January 22, 2008

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tech N9ne's Tribute to Falco2:21 PM, January 22, 2008

    Radiohead and Daft Punk? Well, this is turning into quite the Eli Party isn't it.

    /off to put strychnine the sbarro

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous2:26 PM, January 22, 2008

    @ future mrs....

    if you cannot laugh at weakness, what can you laugh at?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hank Scorpio2:32 PM, January 22, 2008

    In the words of Homer Simpson:

    "Larry Flynt is right!"

    ReplyDelete
  14. Chuck Sweet2:40 PM, January 22, 2008

    Dear MMP,

    We are happy to inform you that space has become available. We've reserved a spot in Circle #8, Bolgia 10. Let us know if this doesn't suit your needs or if you'd like to discuss alternate accomodations.

    We look forward to meeting you on February 5th at 8:06 PM, 27 agonizing minutes after your unfortunate encounter with a garbage truck, and getting you situated in your new home.

    Regards,

    Satan

    ReplyDelete
  15. Pemulis2:41 PM, January 22, 2008

    still kisses with saliva?

    ReplyDelete
  16. Phony Gwynn2:44 PM, January 22, 2008

    a pig in a cage on antibiotics

    Hey, leave Deanna Favre outta this!

    ReplyDelete
  17. PUNTE2:53 PM, January 22, 2008

    @chip: Does Satan offer a turn-down service?

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous2:57 PM, January 22, 2008

    DEAR KSK,

    I WANTED TO SEE YOUR UTOPIA, BUT NOW I SEE IT IS MORE OF A FRUITOPIA.

    MC HAWKING OUT, BITCHES.

    BOOM... SHAKA... LAKA... LAKA... LAKA...

    /A Brief History of Rhyme

    ReplyDelete
  19. Suss3:03 PM, January 22, 2008

    That was a great Dick Clark impersonation! Now do Steven Hawking.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Otto Man3:04 PM, January 22, 2008

    SHALL. WE. PLAY. A. GAME?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous3:19 PM, January 22, 2008

    NO.

    ELISHA.

    CAN.

    NOT.

    JOIN.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jelly B. Good3:40 PM, January 22, 2008

    boy I miss Marmalard...

    ReplyDelete
  23. Chris(BessMervinGirlDetective)3:40 PM, January 22, 2008

    I having been waiting to use this forever, finally.

    Your theory of a donut shaped universe intrigues me. I may have to steal it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. G4:02 PM, January 22, 2008

    Wow,

    Go to hell, go directly to hell, do not pass go, do not collecct $200.

    --still funny though

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mevs4:18 PM, January 22, 2008

    Have fun in hell!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Leaking Geek4:24 PM, January 22, 2008

    Hi, MMP...

    Oh, Hi Satan...

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ryan The Intern4:33 PM, January 22, 2008

    MJD + water = MMP

    ReplyDelete
  28. Chuck Sweet4:35 PM, January 22, 2008

    @mmp: I'll have to speak to the manager.

    ReplyDelete
  29. dick_gozinia6:22 PM, January 22, 2008

    Here's my impression of Stephen Hawking with a hooker.

    SUCK.
    MY.
    DICK.
    SUCK.
    IT BITCH.

    Gracias Senor David Cross.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Landru6:37 PM, January 22, 2008

    Best. MMP. evAR.

    ReplyDelete
  31. dlchambers8:13 PM, January 22, 2008

    Yo, this one goes out to all you punk
    bitches who think the Hawkman is soft

    Stephen Hawking is crazy as f*ck!
    http://profile.imeem.com/dLRTYE/music/UZlJ0pWK/mc_hawking_crazy_as_fuck/

    ReplyDelete
  32. bloodyhandedgod9:55 PM, January 22, 2008

    That is just wrong. Like having Mother Teresa do an anal-bukkake-facial-gangbang video wrong.

    All wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Gern1:15 AM, January 23, 2008

    Would it kill someone to fix his fucking teeth? We're not in jolly old England.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Unknown11:36 AM, January 23, 2008

    Did everybody else read that to themselves in the electronic voice too?

    Just me? Ok.

    ReplyDelete
  35. SlickBomb12:18 PM, January 23, 2008

    Hey! Lego Steven Hawking.

    http://www.thelandsalmon.com/images/2008/January16thru31/stephen_hawking_lego.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  36. Otto Man2:57 PM, January 23, 2008

    Would it kill someone to fix his fucking teeth? We're not in jolly old England.

    He teaches at Cambridge University.

    Which is located in....

    ReplyDelete
  37. Brady's a douchebag4:16 PM, January 23, 2008

    @bloodyhandedgod

    What's wrong with Mother Teresa getting up and in every orifice from soneone like....oh Michael Strahan. He needs a bitch. He doesn't like being someone's bitch plus Mother T couldn't talk back to him. If that's too sick for you, Michael could make Jared from Subway his personal bitch as part of a Super Bowl commercial.

    PS Osi could shit on Jared while Michael does him with a footlong.

    ReplyDelete