It's game one of Manning Sunday featuring that older accomplished pitchman brother, Pey-Pey. He can sell you the coat off your own back at twice value. In fact, he keeps a collection of knockoff Rolexes under his jersey if you're looking for one.The Chargers have won their last two against Indy, including the Nov. 11 regular season contest, in which Pey-Pey famously sold the defense a whopping six beachfront interceptions and Adam Vinatieri botched a chip shot that cost them the game. What will take to get that guy to stop choking?
Not having to rely this time on Craphonso Thorpe at wideout, the Colts will have certainly more reliable, if less hilariously named, receivers this time around. Meanwhile, the roof of the RCA Dome may be opened because no one enclosure can contain the doucheiness that is Marmalard.
What a spectacular juxtaposition of photographs. Just as much of the light that we perceive as "starlight" is in reality an energy byproduct of two stars exerting gravitational pulls on one another, so is the douche-tacularity of each QB on his own enhanced by proximity to the other. The result: a blinding, potentially retina-scarring visual representation of asininity.
ReplyDeleteuh, I mean
RARGH FOOTBALL
The best thing about this game is that the either the Chargers or Colts will lose today. In spite of myself, because few things warm the heart like hearing LT et al whine about losing a playoff game (stay classy San Diego!), I have to root for the Chargers just so Dad of the Year Dungy loses in his final NFL game (?). I might move to Tampa just so I can throw Bibles through his windows on Halloween.
ReplyDeleteGreg Marmalard: Come outta there, you bastards!
ReplyDeleteEric 'Otter' Stratton: [in falsetto] Who is it?
Greg Marmalard: You know damn well who it is.
Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I'm sorry. You'll have to come back later. I'm doing the dishes
if the marmalites lose this one norv is toast for sure... maybe they'll dig up dick nolan to coach next year.
ReplyDeletefuturemrsrickankiel... Are you sure you're not an Emo Eagle? :p
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm disappointed in this post. You should have had Marmalard disrupt one of Manning's Priceless Pep Talks
You'll have to settle for this, Tom
ReplyDeleteSince only 18,000 people have e-mailed it to me this week. You'll get a Marmalard post last this week.
"Meanwhile, the roof of the RCA Dome may be opened because no one enclosure can contain the doucheiness that is Marmalard."
ReplyDeleteHeh, word. That must be why the new digs has a retractable roof. LET'S GO COLTS!!
I think I'm frightened by the fact that this was actually insightful and not a joke.
ReplyDeletemuch like the cowboys/giants game, the only acceptable outcome here is for both teams to lose. ugh.
ReplyDeleteI guess I could tolerate a san diego win, as long as I still got to see rivers throw a hissy fit and/or LT cry.
okay... peyton is hawking double stuf oreos now? for serious?
ReplyDelete@allie: I'm imagining Drew, Ufford, and Ape giggling to themselves about the gift they've just been given.
ReplyDeleteWhatever do you mean? Nothing farcical about that ad.
ReplyDeleteAnd there's Marmalard's first pick of the day . . .
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of manager would let their clients lick a cookie for 20 seconds on TV? and to end the commercial with cream on their face? And to have their father just looking on. C'mon!
ReplyDeleteDallas Fucking Clark is owning shit.
ReplyDeleteI never want to see either Manning licking ANYTHING, ever again.
ReplyDeleteWill there be any incompletions next week?
ReplyDeleteOh, MarHar.
ReplyDeleteOh god, no, Marvin.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that was back-to-back delay of games there, Marmalard.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard not to "aw-shucks" the jimmy stewartesque goofiness of Manning, but I'm SO FUCKING TIRED of seeing a new commercial pop up every day with PeyPay in it.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure the US/Chinese trade deficit could be erased if PeyPay donated half his endorsements salary.
Since when did Vincent Jackson start catching passes? Jeez, how ansty is Manning going to be now with his pre-snap vodoo dance.
ReplyDeleteMerriman had a better chance of popping the ball than catching the pick.
ReplyDeleteIs that Manu Manu The Slender?
ReplyDeleteI'd rather see more Manning Bros. DSRL ads than more of these overproduced HBO-knockoff spots the lineup of shows on various networks. First, FX; now, CBS.
ReplyDeleteBob Sanders is not very smart.
ReplyDeleteNate Keading is money in the playoffs, if u bet against him that is.
ReplyDeleteOh, fuck me sideways.
ReplyDelete'bout time Cromartie got a pick this year.
ReplyDeleteMind-bogglingly terrible call. Like I said, the NFL will do anything in its power to assure the Pats and Colts play next week.
ReplyDeleteHorrible, HORRIBLE call.
ReplyDeleteShould we just root for the Manning/Manning Super Bowl?
ReplyDeleteSo how many breaks are the Colts going to get in the 2nd half now? Jesus NFL try to not make it look so obvious you want the Pats/Colts game next week.
ReplyDeleteAlso it's stupid to give them the calls because it gives dipshit Pats fans more ammo and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteI want to die.
ReplyDeleteTD or no, that was a nifty move by Reggie.
ReplyDeleteHaven't there been enough injuries in this game? Stop breaking people's knees, Reggie.
ReplyDeleteDan Dierdorf gives big stupid people a bad name...
ReplyDeleteIt may just be my TV but why does it sound like they are playing inside of a Didgeridoo?
ReplyDeletejohn john:
ReplyDelete+ a lot
@johnjohn: It's not just your TV.
ReplyDeletehey smurphette... the "nice" folks in Indy boo a 14 year old girl cause she's wearing a Pats jersey? tsk tsk... what a bunch of Indyholes (gotta work on my insults)...
ReplyDeleteWow, I really can't believe they called that pass interference earlier. I am kind of embarrassed.
ReplyDelete@jelly: Um, it's a football game, and it's the playoffs. If she's that sensitive, maybe she shouldn't have entered a football contest.
DALLAS FUCKING CLARK IS A PIMP
ReplyDeletesmurphette: there is a new thread, fyi
ReplyDeleteThanks for the heads-up. You'll forgive me if I have been a bit distracted.
ReplyDeleteRivers jsut won you fuucks! HA eat that Shit!
ReplyDeleteMarmalard "grammaticas" himself. What a douche.
ReplyDeleteRivers didn't win you jackass, the backup QB did.
ReplyDeleteSo that was the Volek who three those 3 TDs? Come on, Marmalard deserves just a little credit.
ReplyDeleteMarmalard "deserves" just a little credit for being the most prick-tastic QB in the league.
ReplyDeleteGive him credit for that too if you like, but he still lit it up yesterday.
ReplyDelete