Are you telling me that this year's playoffs will not feature F--k Da Eagles Heather? Well, that is a true American tragedy. I don't even know how we even begin to recover. The Federal government hasn't given us ANY sort of guidance on this. There are thousands of football fans stranded out there, with no tits in sight. Who will come to their rescue? Who will provide them with the support, preferably and ample B cup or higher, that they so desperately need?
This is a call to all you mildly attractive female football fans of this year's playoff teams out there. You need to pick da team that you think should get fucked. Then, you must visibly demonstrate on your chest your commitment to da principle that da team you pick deserves good, hard fucking. Then you need to get yourself on FOX. They say they don't condone that sort of thing. But really, they can't get enough of it. They love it when fans want one team to fuck another.
So hurry, with all due diligence. We need it. Please help.
As a Skins fan, I'll see if I can contribute to a Fuck the Cowboys bandwagon.
ReplyDelete"mildly attractive female football fans"
ReplyDeleteWhoa ho ho, Mr. Standards.
fuck troy williamson. right in his stupid ass.
ReplyDeleteHow about fucking the Vikings. Their team is coached by a giant walking vagina anyway.
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for wearing my two new purple jesus shirts recently. fuck.ing.a.
ReplyDeleteFox doesn't condone that sort of thing? Didn't they once run a reality show called Who Wants to Titty-Fuck My New Breasts?
ReplyDelete"fuck da tony romo" jessica isn't good enough?
ReplyDeleteI will see what I can do about a "Fuck Da Patriots" display.
ReplyDeleteHonorable mentions go to fucking "Da Steelers" and "Da Chargers" because of their colossal douchebag QBs.
And really, there are so many teams that deserve a good fucking.
ReplyDeleteThe Patriots.
The Colts.(I don't give a shit what you say, only douchebags root for Peyton Manning)
The Cowboys.(Insufferable owner. Insufferable fans)
The Redskins. (Sympathetic team. Unsympathetic fanbase)
That's just four off the top of the head. Really, there are just so many teams for the ladies to choose from.
+10 points for "Who Wants to Titty-Fuck My New Breasts?"
ReplyDeleteWhile I'm against looking that trashy in general or on any national/regional telecast - I would readily and obligingly paint my tits and stomach with "FUCK DA PATS - FUCKIN' MASSHOLES." It may not fit... Oh well, the sacrifices we make.
ReplyDelete@sarah: I love you.
ReplyDeleteKudos, Sarah.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI guess my FUCK FUCK DA EAGLES GIRL shirt is going back in the drawer, then.
ReplyDeleteno one wants to FUCK DA GIANTS?
ReplyDeleteWait. All I have to do to get some action is to be on FOX?
ReplyDeleteAll those wasted roofies...
@slideshow bob: no need for such a shirt. Da Giants are already fucked. The fact that my team is so happy to have played so well in a loss means they have "just happy to be in the playoffs" written all over them.
ReplyDelete@sarah: the hat was part of the attraction. "I wanna fudk u." Preferably while you're wearing nothing except the 'Git-R-Done' hat and have 'FUCK DA PATS - FUCKIN' MASSHOLES' written on your titties and stomach.
Perhaps it's "Fuck Da Jeff Garcia" Lance's time to shine. Heyyyy
ReplyDelete