Only one of these beloved dinosaurs is getting boatloads of cash from the NFL & ESPNLed Zeppelin's transcontinental renaissance kicks into high gear with their reunion concert tonight in London. While over on our side of the ocean, Zeppelin has inked a promotional deal with the NFL and ESPN. Which explains why you heard “Dazed and Confused” in the background on last Monday night while the referees were ass-raping the Ravens' defense with gusto.
When Unsilent Majority heard about Zeppelin's deal he expressed unbridled optimism that this arrangement might lead to to the band playing at half-time of the Super Bowl. Since Maj is the wide-eyed naif of our collective, he doesn't understand that Led Zeppelin doesn't play half-time shows. If anything, the Super Bowl should be played at intermission of a Led Zeppelin show.
The six of us put our heads together to predict what Zep tunes our favorite NFL personalties would request. We know, you're thinking, “great, another crappy list post.” But it was either this or I break out my theramin while Drew dons his unbuttoned half-shirt ala Robert Plant. NOW CRANK IT UP, FUCKERS!!!
Minnesota Vikings ______________________ Going to California
Trent Green _______________________ Dazed and Confused
Bill Belichick _____________________________ No Quarter
Travis Henry _______________________________ Moby Dick
Jason Campbell's mom _________________ Black Country Woman
Sterling Sharpe /John Madden _________________ Ramble On
Devin Hester _______________________ How Many More Times
Bart Scott _________________ Nobody's Everyone's Fault But Mine
Andre Gurode _____________________ Trampled Under Foot
Albert Haynesworth ______ Bron-Y-Aur Stomp (Ha-Y-Nes Worth Stomp?)
Cam Cameron ________________________ The (Cleo) Lemon Song
Vinny Testeverde _______________________ Achilles Last Stand
Jeff Garcia ________________________ In Through the Out Door
New Orleans Saints _________________ When the Levee Breaks (ouch)
Tony Romo's Mom ________________________ Living Loving Maid
Gene Upshaw _________ Black Dog (submitted by Bryant Gumbel)
Michael Irvin ________________________ Hats Off to (Alvin) Harper
Kurt Warner ___________________________ Houses of the Holy
Earl Campbell _________________________ Wearing and Tearing
Travis Johnson ___________________________ You Shook Me
Donovan McNabb ___________________________ Sick Again
Rex Ryan _____________________ Communication Breakdown
Chad Johnson ____________________________ Dancing Days
Rex Grossman/Kyle Orton__What Is And What Should Never Be (nice jinx, Punter)
Joe Gibbs ______________________ How Many More Time(out)s
Elisha Manning ____________________________ She's Just a Woman
Sav Rocca________________________________ Immigrant Song
Patriots, Dolphins ____________________ Good Times, Bad Times
Heinz Field _______________________________ The Rain Song
Shawne Merriman _________Physical Graffiti
Andy Reid _________________________________ Custard Pie
Bill Parcells __________________________ Babe I'm Gonna Leave You
Marvin Lewis __________________________ Hey Hey What Can I Do
Jon Kitna ____________________________ Stairway to Heaven
Al Davis ___________________________ In My Time of Dying
NBC's 'green' coverage producers___________________ Ozone Baby
Kevin Kolb __________________________ Your Time Is Gonna Come
Aikman appears to have a large faggot on his back. Hmmmm......Usually, this is the part where we invite the commenters to add their own suggestions. But we have already RAWKED THEIR FACES OFF !!!!
(Makes metal fingers \m/ \m/ bangs head).
Brian Billick - Fool In The Rain
ReplyDelete"Tony Romo's Mom ________________________ Living Loving Maid"
ReplyDeleteif I were epileptic, I definitely would've seizured so hard my tongue would be lodged firmly in my throat.
Chad Johnson_________Hot Dog
ReplyDeleteCincinnati Bengals - Traveling Riverside Blues?
ReplyDeleteSean Taylor......Another One Bites the Dust (RIP)
ReplyDeletePeter King - All My Love
ReplyDeleteI'm going to pretend Zachary didn't just put a Queen song in the comments.
ReplyDeleteTJ Houshmandzadeh - Kashmir
ReplyDeleteWow. Now that's a thorough list.
ReplyDeleteOut on the Tiles ______Ricky Hatton
Eagles - Heartbreaker
ReplyDeleteFedEx Field - Over The Hills And Faw Away
ReplyDeleteThe Other (former) A.M. Jumpers_________D.J. Gallo's Pole
ReplyDelete-100 to zachary
ReplyDeleteI think Pacman is the obvious choice for Fool in the Rain.
ReplyDeleteLenDale White - Moby Dick
ReplyDeleteThe Rex Grossman/Kyle Orton one was just genius.
ReplyDeleteI was going to suggest "Kevin Everett - 'I'm Gonna Crawl'" but a.) That's no longer relevant and b.) I don't want to go to Hell.
ReplyDeleteRae Carruth - (More than) Ten Years Gone
ReplyDeleteAnd -100 to me for being the idiot who couldn't stick within NFL boundaries. I'll go now.
ReplyDelete@spud, at least Out on the tiles is a LZ song.
ReplyDeleteWow, a theramin reference. Trent Reznor also approves.
ReplyDeletePeyton Manning (as sung to his beloved Kenny) _______ I Can't Quit You Baby
ReplyDeleteJason Taylor - Babe I'm gonna leave you
ReplyDeleteMike Holmgren - Four (Drum)Sticks
ReplyDeleteTravis Henry - Whole Lotta Love
ReplyDeleteBill Belichick - The Song Remains the Same
ReplyDeleteAlbert Haynesworth - Trampled Under Foot
ReplyDeleteOoh ooh now do one for the Barenaked Ladies!
ReplyDeleteTommy Maddox - Poor Tom
ReplyDelete@tattooedmess(iah): As does Angelo Moore.
ReplyDeleteThe entire group of Whiny Baltimore Defenders--------Ramble On
ReplyDeleteLaurence Maroney_________The Crunge
ReplyDeleteMatt Leinart______The Wanton Song
Ricky Williams______Misty Mountain Hop/D'yer Mak'er
Baltimore Colts - Baby I Gotta Move
ReplyDeleteVinny Testavitis______ Ten Years Gone
ReplyDeleteMike Vick______ No Quarter
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ReplyDeleteNew Orleans --- When the Levee Breaks? I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteTerry Glenn --- Battle for Evermore
@Spud - New Orleans is surrounded by levees. During Katrina, they failed and flooded the city.
ReplyDeleteOk, but isn't that song about Chicago? And who is Katrina?
ReplyDeleteDavid Carr -- Trampled Underfoot
ReplyDeleteSuzy Kolber _____ The Only Reason Men Talk To You Is Because They Want To Get Laid, You Stupid Fucking Cunt
ReplyDeleteWait, that's Anal Cunt.
Emmitt Smith wants to know why those Led Emblems guys are singing about Koooolaid Muroney in their song "whole lotta nub"?
ReplyDeleteWhat no Michael Vick prison-sex post yet. C'mon guys, it's been like, 6 hours. LZ rocks
ReplyDeleteBut it was either this or I break out my theramin while Drew dons his unbuttoned half-shirt ala Robert Plant.
ReplyDeleteThe only person I've ever seen play a theremin is Charlie Clouser.
I say, if you can play that thing break that shit out.
But don't unveil the breadwich stomach, nobody needs to see that.
Fred Smoot ---- Down by the Seaside or Four Sticks (Two double dildos.....too much of a stretch?)
ReplyDeleteRomeo Crennel ---- Black Mountain Side
Terrell Owens/Donovan McNabb ---- Friends
lendale white - candy store rock
ReplyDeleteemmitt smith - dancing (with the stars) days
jon kitna - houses of the holy
adrian peterson (good) - wearing (out Ds) and tearing (LCLs)
tom brady - your time is gonna come
John Facenda - Coda
ReplyDeleteTerrell Owens ---- Good Times Bad Times
ReplyDeleteWho Let the Dogs out......Michael Vick
ReplyDeleteThe 1970 Marshall Football Team........Night Flight
ReplyDeletetoo soon?
TOO SOON. Once they make a movie dramatizing it, only then can you make that kind of joke.
ReplyDelete@ricky
ReplyDeleteDid you not see the Patron Saint on MNF? Suzy was looking beautiful. You heretic. I swear if you float in water, weigh the same as a duck you are made of wood. And therefore, a witch!
Ach. I'd contribute, but you already used Achilles' Last Stand on Vinny Testaverde
ReplyDelete@ spud randall - katrina was referring to hurricane katrina, the hurricane that passed through new orleans in august of 2005 and caused massive amounts of damage... thus the "levee" reference.
ReplyDelete@ ricky - i'm too sleepy to tell if you were being sarcastic or not, but they did make a movie about the 1970 marshall football team in december of 2006.. however, if this was meant to be a sarcastic, then disregard this comment.
...pulling an all-nighter for college finals and wanted to take a break from studying.
Did somebody really just throw down "Who let the dogs out" on a post about Led Fucking Zeppelin?
ReplyDeleteI know just about all the songs were taken, but ... Christ.
Not all the songs...
ReplyDeleteMiami Dolphins_____Hots on for Nowhere
@spud: please do not tell me that katrina was seriously news to you...
Actually, I just spent 2.5 years swimming in grape jello so I didn't hear anything.
ReplyDeleteThat's a lot of grape jello. Anyhow it was Hurricane Katrina in 2005 that fucked up New Orleans and the Gulf Coast royally.
ReplyDelete