tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post116914203751626744..comments2023-12-07T05:29:15.607-05:00Comments on Kissing Suzy Kolber: The Zucchini Bread Fart (Plus The Steve Irwin Memorial Meast of the Week - Divisional Round)Big Daddy Drewhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12272879759155473844noreply@blogger.comBlogger36125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169330646876998032007-01-20T17:04:00.000-05:002007-01-20T17:04:00.000-05:00Crop dusting and elevator drops can be fun - but t...Crop dusting and elevator drops can be fun - but the truest form of satisfaction comes from dropping in the face of the person behind you on the escalator....Mike Honchohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16389207940923770134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169216931020088802007-01-19T09:28:00.000-05:002007-01-19T09:28:00.000-05:00My personal favourite is the fart the morning afte...My personal favourite is the fart the morning after a night out where the only thing you drank was Guiness, all night and then had a dodgy kebab from the takeaway on the way home. <BR/><BR/>The day I manage to bottle that I will become the 43rd nation to be in posession of chemical weapons.kylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06867651828790181943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169181014829880982007-01-18T23:30:00.000-05:002007-01-18T23:30:00.000-05:00Stale cheetos and big macs are a deadly combinatio...Stale cheetos and big macs are a deadly combination, i had to run out of my psych class with poopies dripping down my leg after i farted loud enough to interrupt the professor. My sprint to the nearest bathroom left the mess on my thighs, and clung to my boxers. needless to say i can bet that my poop filled boxers was not the best present the janitor ever recievedCaucasion Invasionhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04978356248494908140noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169161025672974222007-01-18T17:57:00.000-05:002007-01-18T17:57:00.000-05:00My wife's chili is damn good. She has only made i...My wife's chili is damn good. She has only made it for me twice, however. The ungodly smell (its like chili...only evil!)that it produces makes my own eyes tear up, I choke, the cat leaves the room and the wife looks at me with that "what the fuck have I done"-look that I'm sure a mother has on her face upon learing that her son is a serial rapist/murderer/republican/country singer/etc. <BR/><BR/>All I have to do is eat one bowl. Just one. And my ass eminates the noxious odor for three days. THREE DAYS, MAN! The first time (and the only time)I brought it to work I had to leave early before people started to whisper. <BR/><BR/>This is not an exaggeration. I had to use sick time!Steve https://www.blogger.com/profile/03764984464386973713noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169160877063400382007-01-18T17:54:00.000-05:002007-01-18T17:54:00.000-05:00Mix lamb gyros, saganaki, fried calamari ,and beer...Mix lamb gyros, saganaki, fried calamari ,and beer and you get something I call "The Grecian Formula" It smells like fish covered goat turds. Ah the smells from Greek food, now I know why Albanians are so pissy.rock n ryehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09990479113236218499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169158242228086572007-01-18T17:10:00.000-05:002007-01-18T17:10:00.000-05:00My wife's been on an international cuisine kick fo...My wife's been on an international cuisine kick for a few months, so every night our bedroom smells like a different ghetto. Pick your ethnic quarter, the characteristic smells have been in our place.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, the other night my farts had an odor we'd never smelled before. Somehow rancid, somehow rotten, somehow mysterious. But vile beyond comprehension. These farts went to the 4th dimension, containing an unmistakable sense of AGE. It was as if a mad scientist surgically implanted 20 year-old farts into my abdomen.<BR/><BR/>She was appalled beyond description, running in horror a number of times. But I was fascinated. And I never did figure out the source.Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15398931203483061703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169157899958973252007-01-18T17:04:00.000-05:002007-01-18T17:04:00.000-05:00I come from a long line of farters. My grandfather...I come from a long line of farters. My grandfather is a farter, my father is a farter, and my great-great-great uncle in Russia wrestled bears and shit himself whilst being squeezed by said orsine.<BR/><BR/>My grandfather deserves the credit that many have tried to steal from him, even on this board. I believe it was 1938 when he first attempted the feat which would become known as the "Wrong Floor." By virtue of his getting on a crowded elevator, passing gas before getting to the second floor and departing no later than the fifth, a revolution was born. The truest flatulent statesman has to wait at least two floors before departing. One has to see the look on the faces of those who are writhing in a short number of moving cubic feet.<BR/><BR/>The most diplomatic use of his skills began in 1968 when my family moved to Miami (Dad & Grandfather). Anxiously awaiting the waves of Cubans who would cross our shores and the eventual Mariel exodus, he hatched a plan. The gift would be born in a synergy of kosher salami, copious amounts of deli mustard and no shortage of thinly-sliced onion. He would decide to go to any public location, ensconce himself into a group of old Cuban ladies and let it go silently (not that you would hear anything near them). The trick is then to move away, but still close enough to see them begin to argue over who let it go. <BR/><BR/>Thus, the Cuban Surprise Fart.evanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16099585709695277854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169154068898687882007-01-18T16:01:00.000-05:002007-01-18T16:01:00.000-05:00did coconutpete just say his sister gave him a hum...did coconutpete just say his sister gave him a hummer?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169153141456487012007-01-18T15:45:00.000-05:002007-01-18T15:45:00.000-05:00I get some pretty noxious farts around noon after ...I get some pretty noxious farts around noon after a morning of kegs & eggs. You've already got the beer farts from the night before, and then you dump more beer, scrambled eggs and bacon on top of them. I've cleared rooms.The Disgruntled Chemisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15578362014178118686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169151422747964222007-01-18T15:17:00.000-05:002007-01-18T15:17:00.000-05:00I take it back - you can have a favorite - and dro...I take it back - you can have a favorite - and dropping one during a hummer is mine, especially that time I melted my sister's braces.coconutpetehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13132575409508894676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169151224253636272007-01-18T15:13:00.000-05:002007-01-18T15:13:00.000-05:00My favorite is not necessarily the flava of the fa...My favorite is not necessarily the flava of the fart, but timing/application of it. Hence, "crop dusting" cubeland is one that always brings a smile to my face.<BR/><BR/>And yes, I am that guy...Qhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13521254700297885747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169150749971547912007-01-18T15:05:00.000-05:002007-01-18T15:05:00.000-05:00My girlfriend has an extremely sensitive nose, so ...My girlfriend has an extremely sensitive nose, so I get to hear about every fart that I emit. But none gets a better reaction than the All Beef Frank(s). Preferably from a ballgame , smothered in some sort of onion-chili-kraut-liquid "cheese"-jalapeno melange, and joined by a dozen pre-game High Life's. The aroma can strip paint, and when focused, blast through granite.<BR/><BR/>Gyros work well too - basically any meat that doesn't resemble the animal(s) it came from.fallexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15924053139613450386noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169150039546665292007-01-18T14:53:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:53:00.000-05:00Not sure if this is too regional, but a night of b...Not sure if this is too regional, but a night of beer drinking, followed by a case of sliders at White Castle can lead to a smell that even you will want to leave the room over. <BR/><BR/>Fart humor is always funnycrazyjoedavolahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08150691781515177349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169148380476269812007-01-18T14:26:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:26:00.000-05:00Feeling inspired by the always-delightful BDD and ...Feeling inspired by the always-delightful BDD and his post on Deuces, I'll share a recent transgression. Monday night, I woke up my wife from her slumber with my flatulance. Not by the sound, but by the smell alone. We had had a meal of spicy meatloaf, peas, and mashed potatoes. She awoke and said in semi-conscious speech, "oh my god, that smell. I think the dog pooped under the bed". <BR/>I lied. "I already cleaned it up, go back to sleep honey."<BR/>I had the leftovers for lunch again the next day. (what can I say, it was good meatloaf)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169148332788559582007-01-18T14:25:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:25:00.000-05:00one of my favorites is avacado and seafood based (...one of my favorites is avacado and seafood based (shellfish = #1 choice); preferably of mexican orgin. <BR/><BR/>mix in some tequilla and beer and marinate for several hours. by all means do not stop drinking during this time. <BR/><BR/>i've actually created outdoor emissions that have caused people to flee to the effect of about a 20-foot radii effective kill/smell zone. <BR/><BR/>and this is the true measure of ass-breath strength.jeffhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03347811717616396995noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169148066003865492007-01-18T14:21:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:21:00.000-05:00The rack of ribs farts are particularly good - spi...The rack of ribs farts are particularly good - spicier on the way out than on the way down.<BR/><BR/>I'm still laughing 15 minutes after initially reading this.Signal to Noisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18128427529258396556noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169147679569092312007-01-18T14:14:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:14:00.000-05:00I would like to toss the "leg o' lamb fart" into t...I would like to toss the "leg o' lamb fart" into the mix. After a dinner that includes lamb, you can pretty much bank of your morning emissions smelling like a 3 day-old moose carcass or a pile of beaver pelts. Dank, warm, and gamey. Rich and full-bodied, with hints of woodland spices, and a rotten mulberry nose. It's a perfect compliment to the morning coffee.Ernest Rileshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02137561075249355179noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169147358814635562007-01-18T14:09:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:09:00.000-05:00Favorite fart? that's like asking Tank Johnson to...Favorite fart? that's like asking Tank Johnson to pick his favorite assault weapon or Tony Gwynn his favorite donut chain. The answer? They're all good. Let's see...should I go with the time I blew ass in 8th grade history and successfully shifted blame to the teacher? or the time I was crossing the Tijuana border and killed a drug-sniffing german shepherd who got too close to my bucket leather seats? or how about when I stood on a peak in the Bavarian Alps, held a magnifying glass to my ass and fried lederhosen clad villagers below one by one with my sauerkraut, schweinhaxen and Lowenbrau fueled fury?coconutpetehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13132575409508894676noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169147304434959902007-01-18T14:08:00.001-05:002007-01-18T14:08:00.001-05:00huevos asscheros!!!!!HAHAHAHAAlmost fell out of my...huevos asscheros!!!!!<BR/><BR/>HAHAHAHA<BR/><BR/>Almost fell out of my chair at work.jackin'4beatshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15455187452321673322noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169147284196628922007-01-18T14:08:00.000-05:002007-01-18T14:08:00.000-05:00Try eating Indian Food and Scotch and waking up th...Try eating Indian Food and Scotch and waking up the next day.<BR/><BR/>It's like nothing you've ever smelled.4giantsfanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09242950648390821937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169146568048726722007-01-18T13:56:00.000-05:002007-01-18T13:56:00.000-05:00"Like someone came up behind you and strangled you..."Like someone came up behind you and strangled you to within an inch of your life, only without the odd sexual gratification." is so my new blog tagline.Hollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00057374435503696017noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169146467131789762007-01-18T13:54:00.000-05:002007-01-18T13:54:00.000-05:00Captain Caveman - MRE's produce a fart like wine. ...Captain Caveman - MRE's produce a fart like wine. Severely fucking aged. However, it is as you say, a wonder of science.J.R. Brownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16175277306671736777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169146307198744412007-01-18T13:51:00.000-05:002007-01-18T13:51:00.000-05:00I can't stop laughing. God I love having a 13 year...I can't stop laughing. God I love having a 13 year old sense of humor.MDGhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11839023283377181708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169146251443417222007-01-18T13:50:00.000-05:002007-01-18T13:50:00.000-05:00do we really have two different commenters named C...do we really have two different commenters named Clint?Unsilent Majorityhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09702126159613748260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30356100.post-1169145808075032782007-01-18T13:43:00.000-05:002007-01-18T13:43:00.000-05:00I don't know if it was my lunch or if farts are li...I don't know if it was my lunch or if farts are like yawns, but I'm closing my office door.Trader Rickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09948604941843458676noreply@blogger.com